Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
