she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
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You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
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It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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