Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
