My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
