Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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