All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
