she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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