im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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