Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
