see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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