this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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