Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
