Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
