hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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