Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
