So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
