Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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