I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
