Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
