I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
