I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
sick fucks of a feather flock together
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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