just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.