And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity