The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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