alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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