Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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