it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
