Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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