I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
