that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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