It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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