Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize