96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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