dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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