There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize