I showed him my bush... on skype.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
