I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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