just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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