i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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