ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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