..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
