I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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