No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just want to make out with him forever
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
