I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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