He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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