hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize