the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
