I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You need a sexual gate keeper
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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