So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
