Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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