I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
