A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No...this little piggys going to the bar
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
