Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
