we're chasing vodka with high fives
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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