Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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