some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
