So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
