So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
