Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
