I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize