the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
